Michelle DaPonte Saslow
Michelle DaPonte Saslow is a mother of two sons and a grandmother. She is retired after many years of working in Church Ministry and Healthcare. Her oldest son Joseph died November 30, 2020, at 31 years old from a poly-substance overdose. Michelle shares her writings and sketches in the hope that they will help others who are grieving.
Nine months of expectant waiting.
Heartbeats, flutters, expanding belly.
The joy of those 9 months.
31 years later:
Nine months of unexpected loss and grief.
Shock, numbness, broken-hearted.
A time of waiting for my lungs to expand
and my heart to mend.
“It takes time….”
Time to accept that a part of me is gone forever.
Time to learn to live in this new reality.
Time to learn how to breathe again.
Time to forgive the silent friends.
Time to ignore foolish platitudes.
Time to think clearly and allow the fog to lift.
Time for joy to return.
In the meantime….. I wait, missing his laughter, his “mom can you do me a big favor?”, his hugs. Missing all of who he was to me, to our family, to his friends.
Grief takes time
I am counting time.
I wake each day covered in grief and walk through my day.
Tick, tick the hands on the clock move.
But the grief is still here, weighing me down. Exhausting me.
Tick, tick, tick I walk in step. Doing what I should. Forcing myself to take each step.
I look ahead to ending this day’s robotic movements.
Sleep comes with the help of Melatonin.
Only to wake and feel the weight of grief again.
Tick, tick, tick…..
The weight of Grief
The weight of grief made me collapse.
My legs could no longer carry the weight of my broken heart.
Screams vibrated in my being as I slid down the wall to the floor.
My chest too heavy to take a breath.
You are gone